Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
