I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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