I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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