he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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