Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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