Who wears a wallet chain?!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
