Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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