Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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