I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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