oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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