Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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