Please, let me fuck your mom
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
