oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize