I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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