Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My feet surprised me
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