i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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