my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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