you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
