im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
