She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
