"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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