oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
