I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
