How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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