Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
