Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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