Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We're too hungover to prance.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
