Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
