you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
