I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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