i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
