So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
