:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
