So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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