I feel like abortions should bother me more
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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