The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
