Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
