good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
