A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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