Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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