it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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