There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
