My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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