WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
