one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
