I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize