For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
