They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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