did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
