I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
