Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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