That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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