i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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