Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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