i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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