He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
