Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
