My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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