I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
