Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
