life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
