the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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