On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
