Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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