who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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