I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize