Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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