He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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